Netflix Defines a 3-Star Movie for Me

This week our Netflix queue hasn’t been very good to us. While Prison Break started off engaging and interesting, it falls apart quickly halfway through Season 1 Disc 2. Where the less MacGyver-inspired supporting stories unfold.

Netflix’s Suggested Rating: 3-stars

Last night, Idiocracy. After watching more than 15 minutes of the film, I’m not surprised at the lack of marketing and both postponed and limited theatrical release. It’s simply not a very good use of 84 minutes. In-appropriate or offensive corporate jokes are beside that point. When it finally ended, I rushed to all primed to rate the movie poorly.

Netflix: “We think you’ll rate it 3-stars”.

Garrick: “Oh. Yeah. That’s actually pretty accurate. Thanks”.

Tonight, I finally caught II, er, 10mph. This film is gorgeous. Fantastic photography, great shots of our country, fairly interesting story, full-on branded trailers and t-shirts, horrible narration with equal parts arrogance and naivete. Thankfully, 20 minutes in, the narrator moved to the backseat of the Jeep and let us see Wyoming, Colorado, and Kansas.

When it clicks.

Our country isn’t about the mind-numbing cubicle job. It’s about the sneaking through a barbed-wire fence while squatting on your battery-powered scooter.

Around Ohio, the whole endeavor starts to go south, I start wondering if Alon has given the Segway’s replacement batteries names and if so, does he have favorites (no spoilers).

Netflix’s Suggested Rating: 3.5-stars

5-star rating systems have bugged me for a while now. So many independent attributes to rank, all rolled into a single number. I knew what 1-star meant (don’t rent it), I knew what 5-stars meant (you were in it). This week, Netflix taught me what 3-stars means (it not good, but you’ll sit through it).